WELO Venice | 30 Excuses To Leave Work Early & Enjoy The Sun

In case you’ve been locked in a cage for the past five days, you know that it’s been ridiculously nice out.  Like 80 degrees at the beach nice out.  And oh yeah, it’s January.  Here’s the problem: we’re all stuck at work.  How do I know this?  Because instead of people updating their Facebooks with pictures of themselves doing awesome things outside, everyone just keeps putting up screen grabs of their iPhone telling them how nice it is outside.  And while that still manages to inspire a decent amount of jealousy in friends in other, colder parts of the country – nothing stirs up envious rage like pictures of you doing summer activities in winter.

To help remedy this problem, I’ve come up with 30 excuses to leave work early and get the fuck outside.  I cannot guarantee the effectiveness of the following (I don’t know who you work for!), but I can tell you that 60% of the time it works every time.

  1. I have a doctor’s appointment.
  2. I have a follow up to my doctor’s appointment.
  3. I have to pick my friend/mom/brother/cousin/girlfriend/nephew up from the airport.
  4. My dog ate my kid’s homework so I have to go bring him/her another copy at school.
  5. It’s just SUCH a nice day out.
  6. I’m just going to nap in my car for an hour.
  7. I forgot my phone at home.
  8. 2gether is getting back 2gether
  9. Isn’t today a half day?
  10. There’s a f*cking huge swell, bra!
  11. My foot hurts.
  12. I have to wait at home for the gas/electric/cable/handy man.
  13. My mom’s coming to visit, I need to go clean my apartment.
  14. Facebook is broken.
  15. It’s [insert obscure holiday here] at sundown.
  16. I’m going to a concert/dinner/meeting/party in Anaheim/Hollywood/Pasadena/Reno – better leave to beat traffic.
  17. I need to take my dog/cat/hamster/goldfish out for a walk.
  18. A new Rihanna single was just released, I need to practice my dance moves before the weekend.
  19. …. (don’t say anything, just leave)
  20. I told my Grandma I’d water her plants while she’s out of town.
  21. I got really drunk last night so I left my car on Washington and got a ride to work but I’m pretty sure I left it unlocked and you know how crime is in the area I better go back and make sure it’s locked so that none of my shit gets stolen.
  22. My great uncle’s Life Alert necklace just sent out an alarm.
  23. I’m hungry.
  24. Happy hour is starting in like, 4 hours.
  25. I have really, really, really, bad cramps.
  26. We’re out of beer in the office.
  27. I’m fucking bored and can’t stand to look at you people anymore.
  28. I finished everything I need to accomplish today.
  29. I just puked in the bathroom.
  30. The Internet is down.

See you on the beach, and you’re welcome.

About the author

Born and raised in LA, Rachel has pretty much been obsessed with Venice all her life. Seriously. When she's not busting a move (and knocking into the pool table) at Townhouse she can be found riding her bike or struggling on her longboard somewhere in the vicinity of Abbot Kinney. She generally prefers SPF 30 or higher.

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